How much do you love your body? We all have things that we don’t like about our bodies, but right now, I am working very hard to focus on the positives of my body. I used to racewalk marathons and after finishing my last marathon, I realized that my legs, which I’d always hated the way they looked, have just gotten me through miles and miles of training and miles and miles of marathons. I took a few minutes and thanked my legs and decided it was time to stop complaining about my strong, healthy legs. The same goes for the rest of my body, as I grow older, I realize how much my body has done for me. My two beautiful children were produced and nourished by my body and it has brought me to this point in my life relatively healthy and strong. I should be rejoicing instead of always complaining about its imperfections.
1. Get in forgiveness mode. I know you don’t want to forgive your body. You simply want her to be the way you’ve always imagined her. Here’s the problem. The impossible standards you, your mother and the media have put on your body aren’t possible for her to achieve. Why? Because she, like every other human body, is imperfect and unique. To get into forgiveness mode, start by forgiving one piece of your body that has never been up to snuff. Then move on to another. As you begin to forgive, your desires for what you want your body to be will blend together with who she actually is.
2. Pass on Perfection. You believe perfection keeps you striving and pushing. You may even think that’s how you’ve gotten this far. Here’s the truth: Perfection is nothing but a self-imposed box that keeps you doubting, questioning and bashing your body. There is no such thing as perfect. Not in your work, not in your relationships and certainly not in your body. Perfection makes you desperately hold on to an arbitrary and rigid outcome yet bodies inherently change and shift. They are never static and as such are impossible to control and make perfect. Practice letting go of the “perfect” rule and watch your thoughts and feelings about your body soften.
3. Live with bite and devour it all. I’m not talking about downing the container of coconut milk ice cream you’ve got in the fridge for that, “Need.Comfort.NOW” moment. Rather live with gusto and devour life in its many forms. How often do you use food for freedom, joy, passion and excitement? Yes, food can be all those things, however are you only letting yourself experience those emotions through food? Using food as your only source of pleasure is an extremely small and narrow way to live and I know you are grander than that. So consider other ways you can experience joy and freedom. How else can you feel passion and excitement? I want you to dance, sing, skip and be a 5-year-old again. Let life in, eat it by the bowlful and notice those nasty, body-bashing thoughts shift.
4. Be the mama you need. We’ve already established you are harder on yourself than you are on anyone else. In fact, you probably say things to your body you wouldn’t say to an enemy, let alone a dear friend… and as it turns out, your body is the dearest friend you’ve got. What would it feel like if instead of berating your body, you consoled her like a mother does a child? By wrapping your body in unconditional love (yes, you must start adoring your thighs), you foster the inner confidence to change and flourish rather than talking mad smack then shutting down and numbing out. Remember the old adage, “You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar”? The same applies to your body. The more you love, console and tenderly encourage your body, the more quickly she will become all that you envision for her.
5. Thank the little things. Be grateful for what you’ve got, darn it! When your legs walk you to the bathroom, thank them. When your arms lift your child, maneuver that suitcase or carry in the groceries, bless them. When your stomach dutifully digests the 3,000th meal you’ve served it, thank it for a job well done. Though these actions are done without conscious thought on your part, the body does them thanklessly as her way of caring for you. Thanking your body for all her many duties floods your system with appreciation and reminds you that she and YOU are wonderful and worthy of love.
A few years ago I went with a friend to a Body Positive workshop put on by a fitness magazine. The two of us were probably the farthest from the mainstream society’s version of perfect bodies of all the participants in the workshop and we both realized that all the beautiful, perfect looking (to us) women in the group had the same insecurities as we did. I came away thinking, what a shame and what a waste of time it is to be obsessing about what we could be, and just BE!Be happy, Be healthy, Be productive, Be satisfied and Be thankful for who we are!
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